Getting engaged? The ring, the champagne, the endless Pinterest scrolling, it’s a vibe. But here’s the curveball: your engagement isn’t just about planning a wedding. It’s also the start of a brand. new financial chapter.

Money chats aren’t always sexy. Especially when they involve legal stuff like prenups (that’s a Binding Financial Agreement in Australia, or a Contracting Out Agreement in New Zealand). But here’s the twist: prenups aren’t about planning for divorce. They’re about protecting what you’ve built, recognising contributions that don’t always show up in dollar signs, and starting your marriage with honesty and clarity.

So… Do You Really Need a Prenup?

Short answer: if you have anything worth protecting, assets, KiwiSaver, property, a business, or even a future inheritance, the answer is yes.

Without one, the law makes the rules. And spoiler alert: the law doesn’t always do women justice. Courts lean heavily on what’s measurable (money in accounts, property titles, investments). What often gets overlooked? The unpaid, invisible work—raising kids, running households, or supporting a partner’s career—that keeps everything afloat.

“But I Don’t Have Assets to Protect—Do I Still Need a Prenup?”

Short answer: yes. A prenup isn’t just about protecting what you already own—it’s also about protecting the value of your time, energy, and future earning power.

Let's face it: opting to pause your career to raise children (hello, motherhood penalty), hold down the fort, or bolster your partner’s career puts you on the frontlines of an unseen labor force. You're clocking in an extra 2.6 hours per day without financial recognition—invisible labor that hardly scratches the surface of a balance sheet. And when push comes to shove, courts often fail to measure the true value of this silent toil, leaving women with a sliver of the security they've earned.

A well-drafted Binding Financial Agreement (Australia) or Contracting Out Agreement (New Zealand) can:

• Recognise non-financial contributions like childcare, household management, and emotional labour.

• Set out fair compensation if one partner sacrifices career opportunities or income.

• Protect long-term security (superannuation, savings, or agreed assets) in case the relationship ends.

👉 You don’t need to “own stuff” to deserve protection. Your contributions create value, and they should be respected and safeguarded.

The Hidden Time Bomb

Think you can deal with this “later”? Think again.

• New Zealand: After three years of living together, marriage, or civil union, the Property (Relationships) Act generally presumes a 50/50 split of relationship property. That includes your home, cars, savings, and yes.. your KiwiSaver.

• Australia: There’s no hard three-year line, but the longer the relationship, the more likely the courts will throw all assets (even ones you brought in beforehand) into the shared pool. That means inheritances, property, and even businesses can be up for grabs.

Timing matters. Wait too long, and you’re no longer in control the courts are.

Real Stories, Real Lessons

Case Study 1: The Trust Trap

Claire trusted the system and her partner. He inherited a substantial sum and put it into a trust. At the time, Claire didn’t think much of it; they were a team, and she managed the household and their finances. Years later, when they separated, she discovered that the law recognised only what was legally “his.” Her unpaid contributions raising kids, managing the home, keeping the finances in order, were invisible in the eyes of the court.

👉 Lesson: Contributions that aren’t documented risk being ignored. Your work has value, and if it isn’t recognised formally, the system may not see it.

Case Study 2: Protecting Your Legacy

Ms. Wood entered marriage with significant assets and a promise of a future inheritance. Rather than leaving things to chance, she proactively signed a binding financial agreement beforehand. It clearly stated which assets remained hers. When her marriage ended, her ex-partner tried to challenge it—but the court upheld the agreement, protecting her legacy.

👉 Lesson: A prenup isn’t a punishment or a sign of distrust; it’s a tool for clarity and protection. It ensures that wealth you’ve built or will inherit remains yours, avoiding drawn-out court battles.

Case Study 3: The Wedding Day Ultimatum

Just days before her wedding, Ms. Thorne was presented with a prenup that gave her almost nothing. When she hesitated, her fiancé threatened to call off the wedding. Feeling pressured and unsure, she signed against her lawyer’s advice. When the marriage ended, the High Court invalidated the agreement, ruling that it had been signed under undue influence.

👉 Lesson: Fairness and consent are non-negotiable. A prenup signed under pressure is likely to fail, no matter what the document says.

Case Study 4: The Career Pause

Anna and Tom were a classic “team” couple: Tom earned a high salary, and Anna agreed to step away from her career to raise their children. She managed the household, childcare, and supported Tom’s career growth for years. When their marriage ended, Anna realised that, despite all she had contributed, she had minimal superannuation, few personal savings, and no formal recognition of her sacrifices. Without a financial agreement in place, the division of assets didn’t fully reflect her non-financial contributions, leaving her financially vulnerable.

👉 Lesson: Even if you don’t own property or have large savings, your contributions matter. Time, labour, and career sacrifices have real financial value—and a prenup or COA can ensure they’re recognised and protected.

Where Does a Financial Planner Fit In?

Here’s the part most people miss: prenups aren’t just a legal conversation—they’re a financial one. And that’s where I come in.

A financial planner can:

• Map the money clearly: What do you own, what’s coming in, and what’s on the horizon (inheritances, business growth, etc.)?

• Put real numbers on the table: Valuing assets and clarifying debts so nothing gets overlooked.

• Facilitate the conversation: Helping you and your partner talk about money goals, values, and fairness without it turning into a fight.

• Future-proof your decisions: Showing you the long-term impact of how assets are split, protected, or shared.

Think of me as the bridge between the love story and the legal contract—I help you figure out the money part so your lawyer can focus on drafting something airtight.

Love + Clarity = Power

Talking prenups doesn’t kill romance... it strengthens it. It’s a conversation that says:
I respect you. I respect myself. And I want us both to thrive.

Whether you’re protecting a property, future inheritance, or simply the invisible labour you bring into your relationship, a prenup isn’t about preparing for failure. It’s about starting your marriage with honesty, transparency, and mutual respect.